Christmas Crack Thread

((if you don't know what a crack thread is, it is a topic that has nothing to do with the storyline and it is a place where the laws of the universe do not apply and anything can happen. Also nothing that is done in here can be used to tell who kira is or who L is etc in actual role play. So lets start this crack thread, and make it christmas themed! Oh and also in this thread your characters role play personality doesn't even have to be the same personality as you use in this thread if you dont want to))

Sazandora sat on his Reindeer that he stole from Santa yesterday. He managed to sneak into the North Pole and steal Cupid. He was about to take off in flight when...

Spedster flew from the sky and stopped Sazandora saying.
You are trying to destroy christmas without me.....you broke the rules.Now you must pay.SPedster's hand started to glow and started forming a ball of light when....

Beyond appeared with a puff a black smoke and jesus rose up from the ground beside him. As jesus rose up you could hear a choir singing in the background.
"STOP SPEDSTER! YOU CAN'T DO THAT YOU'LL KILL CUPID!!"
Beyond turned to Sazandora.
"Jesus and Santa are good friends and he knows you stole Cupid Sazandora. Now Jesus... IS PISSED!"

Go to hell...I couldn't care less for cupid.He said as he thrown the ball at Sazandora, and then...

Ruby teleported into the area and with her shelled of awesome taken from Santa to keep the American missiles away from in while making his rounds she protected cupid!

"No one is fucking with Christmas while i'm here bitches!"

Mattias slowly walked onto the scene, donning reindeer antlers. He stood there motionless for a second, and then warped over to where cupid was located. He grabbed hold of him, teleported away, and then prepared to dash off to an undisclosed area in South America when...

Suddenly everyone was transported to the Ishimura from dead space!
On the big monitor santa popped up and his eyes were redder than his suit.
"HoHoHo! you are all pissing me off today and i do not feel in a jolly mood! ITS BAD ENOUGH THAT I HAVE TO DELIVER PRESENTS TO EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD BUT NOW I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT! NOW YOU WILL ALL HAVE TO BATTLE THROUGH THE HORDES OF CREATURES IF YOU WANT TO MAKE IT OUT ALIVE!" Santa said to everyone

"... I could conclude that we are royally fucked." Sazandora exclaimed.

Mattias slowly backed up into a corner, started shooting lasers from his fingers, and camping like a noob. Whenn.....

Come on ol' chap don't lose spirit now.I mean if we defeat millions of evil creatures get out of this space station get back to earth and find santa we can get our revenge.He said as he took out a lightsaber and went for the beasts.

Ruby nods her head in agreement and the ground begins to shake and tree shoot out of the ground! Christmas trees covered in lights and begin to throw gifts that explode. Hiding behind her shield ruby whines. "I just wanted to save Christmas!" T_T

"And I just wanted to fly on a Reindeer!" Sazandora cried.
Saz turned into his character from the inactive lightness and darkness forum he used to rp at.
"Woah now I have all these elemental powers and such!"
Saz turned his arm into a deadly sharp blade of wind, invisible yet sharper than the finest of katanas. He began slashing at the oncoming creatures.

Beyond turned into a cute kitty and stared up at everyone like this...
O_O

Spedster looked at the ugly kittenKill the kitten it's the devil incarnate!!!

Mattias decided to be a Bleach fag, and unsheathed his sword. Two seconds afterward, his sword shattered, and surprise! His reindeer horns were actually the remains of his hollow mask! Oh snap! He his shirt spontaneously combusted, he grew wings, and gained a minigun in which shot Cero blasts. So he did that, and remained silent the whole time, as he did so.

(Matt joine the chatbox...Or I will kill you in this crack thread.xD)

HE went for Beyond since everyone were busy with something and slashed his lightsaber

((Too cool for chatboxes, yo. That and I was in Economics class and I couldn't ))

"Not the kitty!" Saves kitty unaware that it is Beyond. "Your a big pooh head sped!" Sets the kitty down and pats it on the head, "Stay out of trouble kitty." Draws her someone sword Killage used by Vlad the impaler and points it at Sped. "For trying to fuck up Christmas and nearly killing a kitty i challenge you to a dual!"

((Haha in economics and on this site thats awesome ))

Beyond looked up at Sped with his Kitten eyes and looked angry at him. He hid behind Ruby.

"MEOOOW"

I accept you're dual....He called for his trusty sidekick The kickhisass man and told him to attack Ruby

Ruby swings her sword and cuts Speds sidekick in half. "I want to fight you not some stupid side kick! what are you a chicken?! cant fight a girl?!"

Alright now Ima GOANA USEA TROOLLLH P0w3rHe said as he turned into a powerful troll shot a lazer from his him mouth and Ruby but accidentally destroyed the whole station.

(Sorry for the noob language)

Mattias jumped inside Santa's sack of toys, keeping himself unharmed from the destruction. He slowly drifted through space, until he reached Earth's atmosphere. He came crashing down in the middle of South Africa, a baby reindeer clutched in his arms. ((Happyface.))

Saz flies down to the earth laughing his head off. He free falls upside down with his limbs spread out, continually laughing.
What a rush!

Beyond warps everyone to a karaoke bar. Someone on stage is singing 'I'm dreaming of a white christmas'.
How did I do that?

Spedster looks around and sees Beyond.The devil cat I can see right threw you're disguise.And what is this fallout or something?He asked Beyyond as he charged him with a spear.